none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
