I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I wear drunk well.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
