we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
