I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret