I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen