the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
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Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
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Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on