Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???