I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week