Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(252): View more from North Carolina

We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?

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(706): View more from Georgia

Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles

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(917): View more from New York City

I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.

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(618): View more from Illinois

she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(505): View more from New Mexico

When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.

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(207): View more from Maine

I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world

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(613): View more from Ontario

I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.

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