Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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