Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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