yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
