Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
