Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
