8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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