we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
