Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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