I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
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I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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