Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
