I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
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who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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