whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
