it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
