4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
