Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
