Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
