I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.