Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.