its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.