did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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