I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
