Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
