the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
