No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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