he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
