...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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