wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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