Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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