Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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