i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
