shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
