We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌