Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
