4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice