Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic

Fav 2 1739 930
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

My bed smells like naked

(414): View more from Wisconsin

Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes

Fav 2 2781 921
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(980): View more from North Carolina

after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape

Fav 8 3951 1096
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".

Fav 10 6130 1359
share tweet
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over

(314): View more from Missouri

you can't hurt those

Fav 7 4917 1372
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?

Fav 11 1437 4811
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?

Fav 15 6575 1648
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(727): View more from Florida

I'm too stoned to come over for sex

(813): View more from Florida

Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock

(727): View more from Florida

I'll be right over

Fav 12 1635 715
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked

Fav 2 874 426
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT