so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!