Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..

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(443): View more from Maryland

Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.

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25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(985): View more from Louisiana

shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago

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(713): View more from Texas

I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.

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(802): View more from Vermont

My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".

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(941): View more from Florida

He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?

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(636): View more from Missouri

You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice

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