Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.

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(954): View more from Florida

Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.

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(415): View more from California

sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.

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(940): View more from Texas

Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars

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(604): View more from British Columbia

He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter

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(563): View more from Iowa

I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes

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(+61): View more from Australia

I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck

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