he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
