from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
