it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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