please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
