PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
