I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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