I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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