I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
