it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
