cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
