I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
