Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
