hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
