life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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