it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
