I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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