Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
