You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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