hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
time to smoke my breakfast
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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