Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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