last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
