I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
