youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
