im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
