So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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