You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
