I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
