It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
